Like this:

When I weighed myself this morning the scale read 187.8. I have been working on losing the 15 pounds I gained upon moving back last year. So far, I’ve only lost about 3. The numbers on the scale don’t seem to budge very far. Some days It’s 186, but lately the scale has been dead set on these numbers, down to the ounce. In a way I’m disappointed that the numbers aren’t budging, but in a way I’m also relieved that the numbers aren’t climbing. I’d rather stay at one steady weight than have the numbers bouncing all over the scale. The most weight I had gained after I moved back put me all the way back to 192. Thankfully, I’m slowly trimming the fat again…sort-to-speak.

Weight loss is much easier in the summertime for me. I can’t manage to do a lot in the winter in my one bedroom apartment. I did get the kinect your shape fitness which I am going to do again sometime this week. (I messed my knee up doing jumping jacks last week. If you read my blog/know about me, you’ll know I have torn bilateral cartilage in both knees) If all else fails, I’m going to get back into doing yoga again. It’s a fun way to start off easy with exercise and the last time I did it for 6 weeks, I lost 9 pounds and several inches off my waist!

I know that this journey doesn’t happen overnight. I know that it took me 2 years to lose the 85 pounds that I did. I also know that I’m very impatient!! (Shocker, right?)  I often times spend a day or two eating healthy and get angry when the scale doesn’t budge so then I think to myself “What’s the point?” and go binge on a bag of bbq potato chips or whatever horrendous thing in the cupboard has the highest fat intake. I drown my sorrows in the fatty foods and then get angry with myself and jump back on the healthy food kick. This is a horrible pattern that I’m ready to break. If the numbers aren’t budging, then that’s okay. It shouldn’t be the defining factor in what I eat or how I work out. Instead, I am trying to focus on the fact that eating healthier means being healthier. I shouldn’t be using food as a punishment or reward and I know that. I shouldn’t spend my days angrily eating junk food just because I can’t lose weight. It sounds stupid and it’s counterproductive. That’s just how I’ve always been though. A yo-yo dieter to the extreme. A fluctuating weight kinda gal. I’m ready to break that habit and just eat healthier all the time. I’m sure I’ll slip up now and again, after all I do love my occasional take out and breakfast pizza, but that doesn’t mean I need to punish myself for it. I’m only human.

Yesterday began my new attempt at a healthier lifestyle. While grocery shopping with the family I walked past the potato chips, skipped the poptarts, and didn’t buy my usual frozen pizza rolls. Instead, I have organic pretzel crisps to satisfy my salty food urges (With weight watchers 1 point cream cheese, it’s delicious!) I have natural peanut butter granola bars and oatmeal made with flax seed instead of poptarts, but most importantly is the freezer section….I didn’t fill it with junk food. I grabbed a few healthy choice frozen dinners for the days I absolutely am pressed for time and/or everyone else ate and I don’t want to cook a big production just for myself. I also bought frozen fruit and an assortment of fresh cut veggies. (My local grocery store sells packages of pre cut fresh veggies that they prepare themselves. It has cauliflour, radishes, broccoli, carrots, and celery.) I used the fruit yesterday to make a fruit smoothing using all natural greek strawberry yogurt, a banana, frozen strawberries, and 1% milk. Last night, I snacked on fresh veggies with spinach veggie dip instead of my usual potato chips. And finally, after work last night all I was craving was something sweet. I thought about buying chocolate, candy, pie, cake, cupcakes, or even cookies on my way out of the store but I knew better. I had a small brownie on my break at work and that was my indulgence for the day. Instead, when I got home I made myself some white minute rice, added some cinnamon sugar, and made myself a cinnamon/raisin bagel with cream cheese. It hit the spot, I couldn’t mindlessly eat it, and I imagine it’s a whole lot healthier than my usual old nightly snack routine.

My goal for 2012 is to eat healthier meals & snacks. If I lose weight while I’m doing it, well obviously that will be fantastic. But my weight loss and my eating healthier are two separate goals that happen to coincide.  At least if I don’t start losing weight right away I’ll still know that now only am I eating healthier and becoming healthier for myself, but I’m teaching Emma better eating habits. Those are more important things than the numbers on the scale. Well, today anyways.

 

Peace, Love, and Raisins
Sarah V.

 

 

Today’s breakfast:
1 banana
1/2 cup raisins
1 cinnamon raisin bagel w/cream cheese and sprinkled with cinnamon sugar.

 

We’re off to a good start!

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